The human kind has long had issues related to moving forward and rising not only from solely thorny relationships and lousy jobs but general personal/not so personal misadventures… it’s one of those few things life shrewdly throws at us as we grow older and fortunate is the man (or woman) who manages to find ways to leave all weighty baggage behind and travel light: tiptoeing, running, changing directions as he/she fancies.
I just came across a post from Lisa Coffey this morning about relationships. Coffey argues that “relationships are spiritual organisms, they don’t die- they merely change shape”. For the simplest examples, I think of myself and my job (which am quite fond of): when I first took on this challenge, I was a complete stranger to my company, my team and most importantly the “job” itself, a job I would be engaging in 8 hours a day, 5 days a week! I thus determined to nurture this employee-job relationship…I have put my heart into it, I have been (and still am) a giver of my time, my efforts and as awkward as it may seem, my emotions! 2.5 years on this job have transformed me into an individual of greater perspective and have transformed the job into a “position” of more vitality for the company. A “Give and Take” relationship is how I think of it really (yes, I do realize it is a “job” at the end of the day- but kindly bear with me).
Now, let’s fast forward 5 years ahead- I imagine myself, for any given reason, having to step away from this job. The first thing that comes to mind is:
- Panic (that would be due to stepping out of my comfort zone obviously)
- Grief (I have poured myself into this relationship and would then be breathing its last breath)- Correction (Thanks to you Ms. Coffey): a relationship does not die, it merely changes shape. I thus would need to figure out what shape this relationship has taken and why, and then absorb what’s going on, and weigh my options- since my time in this relationship would obviously be up and one or two of the parties involved could no longer “give” just enough to maintain a usually rock-solid bond.
The one thing of utmost importance here is “seeking closure”, that is recognizing, accepting, understanding, integrating your transforming sentiments to finally find gratitude and make peace with your decision (or the decision that was imposed on you), your inner self, your soon to be ex-job (or ex- partner or former shopping consultant). Only then would you be able to look (then move) forward and tiptoe or run as swiftly as you fancy!