Love is such a splendid thing – or so we think – until practicalities hit the dance floor.
Typical Scenario – 2 years down the road of mushy love
(W): Now what? Engagement?
(M): erm, Yes let’s
Then… 2 weeks down the road
(W): Now What? Big Rock?
(M): erm, ok How “Big” is big?!?
2 months down the road
(W): Now what? Wedding!
(M): erm, ok, give me a minute pls (just enough time to shoot myself in the brains)
The perplexity of the man/ woman relationship has been tackled, dissected (but almost never explained) by philosophers, movie producers, and psychologists alike. Being a woman is hard (take it from one) – we’re dazzling, we’re lighthearted, we’re enchanting – until we’re in the “serious relationship” zone. Then the super sensitivity button is involuntarily pressed and the world suddenly is centered on us, not on our man, not on our overall liaison, but HOW he treats us, HOW he loves us, HOW he wishes us goodnight every night (or NOT and then say hello to Drama).
Being a man is equally as hard (or so I am learning) – practicalities in our part of the world (the Middle East that is) don’t make things easier for a man: the promise, the wedding, the honeymoon, the house, the saving plan, the Rock(s) are only a tad of what he says “yes” to when he commits to a “serious” relationship.
The Ken- Barbie life is how (most) women would like to perceive marriage, the waiting (or chasing) game for the perfect prince in the perfect Disney Tale, which reminds me to sue Disney once this post’s up and ready – but are women to blame? The way we have been brought up is, by itself, reason enough for this perplexity – Men bring food, Women do other “comely” things (courtesy of elevenmillion), such as dressing up & being beautiful. Women today are bringing food too (and yet still manage to do “comely” things and more: being wives, being mothers, being great cooks and hosts, etc..).That equals (if not surpasses) the “manly” task of bringing food to the table and thus, calls for comely initiatives from our fellow gentlemen as well. Comely here does not necessarily translate into eye candy – It could be as simple as a refrigerator post-it when a woman least expects it (PS: Darling, I heart you) and as sophisticated as… (I’ll let you improvise here)..
One of Alain de Botton’s enlightening creations, entitled “Essays in Love” beautifully charts the progress of a relationship between a man and a woman, from the very first heart tingle to the final heartbreak. As his “unique” feelings for his Chloe were developing, he describes how challenging it was for him to express them to the “unique” person that she was without the “banal” associations (the L word according to De Botton was mundane, and while he so dreaded mundanity, he also understood how precious his reassurance would be to Chloe). Did he give up on the dilemma? NO, he actually managed to “transport” his feelings using different wording- he referred to it as alternative means of transportation. “I marshmallow you” is what seemed to capture the essence of his amorous state with perfect accuracy. Chloe’s reaction? Needless to say, overwhelmed (yes, women!!!)
In a nutshell, women want a lot, a whole lot (and all well deserved, from an absolutely objective point of view !), but seriously, unexpected marshmallows will do the trick…every single time… now, what do men “really” want? Besides friendship, attractiveness, shrewdness, perfect cooking skills, problem solving skills, positive attitude &co? volunteers, anyone?