It’s on days like these that I miss the blog the most; when it’s all chills and clouds outside; when I’m fixated on my keyboard trying to get work done, while all I really want is to be out in the cold breeze, sipping hot cocoa and penning down my thoughts somewhere with Sarah McLachlan’s “WinterSong” in the background.
-AUC, December 2015-
Things have changed: Life’s different. I see it taking people I love to different places, paths, jobs, countries. I see me and Mr. Love getting immersed in new aspects of life. With a baby girl on the way, I don’t know what to expect (No, I didn’t read what to expect when you’re expecting). I’m ecstatic surely, but also petrified (just a little). Will we be good parents? What defines a good parent? Will she like us? Am I going to balance being a mom and being me? I have no idea what these few coming months will unfold, but I know I want to make my best to make things work, while not losing myself in the process of becoming a mother.
I love our little life. I want her to be part of it. I am excited to make her part of it. She is already so loved; her grandparents and our siblings have never been happier. Yes, our little life’s different, I suddenly feel like it’s “bigger”, but I like that. As life stretches a little, the adult in me grows, but the kid in me waits for Santa still – 20 days to go, for the snow and mistletoe.
I’ve been virtually tuning in to the Lebanese Radio station “Light FM” every morning from Dubai for the past four years (that’s the beauty of the Online sphere), so I’m quite used to my morning routine: grabbing virtual breakfast with Tanguy, and genuinely sympathizing with frustrated Lebanese callers complaining about the unbearable traffic on their way to work, all whilst enjoying some of my favorite classic music tracks and indulging in fresh acoustic versions of new hits (that’s what makes Light FM really cool: its love for acoustic).
But Santa, dear Santa, my absolute favorite time of the year to tune in to “Light FM” is December. The whole morning show dynamics change considerably: suddenly, Tanguy is “overly” en bonne humeur (not that he usually isn’t), callers are less frustrated (although traffic is still crazy), citizens are turning a blind eye to the bad and taking note of the good only, political and religious debates are (almost) non existent, and the sole talk of town is Christmas trees, dinners and presents. Suddenly, Wham’s “Last Christmas” is played six times a day on average, and six times a day on average, I find myself wishing I was happily stuck in Beirut’s traffic – rather than in a virtual Chrome tab.
Santa, dear Santa,
This morning, I could almost see life in Beirut bleeping in lights of green, white and red.
I could almost see it peaceful in anticipation of the winter glut of Kodak moments.
I could almost see it smiling…for you are coming to town.
You know I’ve been a (pretty) good girl all year, and if I could make one wish only this Christmas, it would be for you to reside in our Lebanese homes and streets, and on our local radios, TVs and blogs indefinitely…